She said she’s caught a glimpse of me again. In my writing these last few days.
And with these few, but heartfelt words, another layer begins to slough off.
I know I’ve been away. From far more than this blog.
Hiding. In plain sight. In the midst of a pretty great life. Good job. Strong marriage. Fantastic son.
Working. Playing. Smiling. Laughing. And all the other things that are pretty good at masking depression. Even from yourself. While each day cocooning another layer around a fragile soul. Plastering over a fracture I didn’t even know was there.
Until I’d completely lost sight of myself, too.
It was not a single moment that alerted me that I was hearing the world in muted voices, seeing my life through a fogged view. Like a frog boiled slowly, the changes had been too subtle to notice. Until they simply weren’t ignorable anymore. I had disappeared.
But how does one escape a pit dug so deeply over so much time?
You come at it from both sides.
So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering … Fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. (Romans 12:1-2. The Message)
It occurred to me at some point that if I was lost deep within myself, I had an ally on the inside. It was faint, but I could hear her, assuring me we could find each other again. She is the warrior inside — the one aligned with the God who also lives in me. She is fighting her way through even as I peel back the layers from this side of things.
Finding my way home from all possible directions. One fresh glimpse of myself at a time.
In response to the 31 Day blogging challenge, I will be publishing EVERY DAY in October — reporting on ways I reach out to bravery in my everyday life. (See all posts to date HERE.) To be alerted to new posts, please follow me on Facebook or Twitter using the links on the right side of this page. Or Subscribe to get posts sent to your Email.
PLEASE use the comment section to share your own thoughts, questions, or experiences of everyday bravery. It’s a road better traveled with friends.