When the opportunity was presented, I could hardly catch my breath. It was a goosebump, hair-raising unveiling of what felt like something even better than I had been hoping for. Like the round peg that has been living in the square hole would finally find a perfect home. A long-awaited answer to a deeply passionate prayer.
And then it didn’t happen.
My spirit grieved, and my body pouted. My mind was confused, and my voice cried out in anger and hurt and utter sadness. Another chance like this, I was convinced, would most certainly not come around again.
Had I misheard His promise that He had heard my prayers? That His Spirit was blowing a fresh wind of change? That my calling had not passed me by? That He would redeem the square-hole days?
And though I have often prayed that God would be “loud in my head” rarely has He been so clear.
Why? I asked.
You aren’t ready, He said.
So what must I do to be ready, Lord?
There was no question what He was telling me. That my life, my purpose, my calling could go no further until the chains of addition were broken. That they forever would hold me back from reaching anything more. That already, imprisonment to my flesh had kept opportunities and relationships from becoming all that He intended.
And my addiction is food.
I have lost weight before. I’ve even been sugar-free before. For a YEAR. But I’ve never been sober. Not really. Not in any kind of lasting and meaningful way. Not in the clear-headed, taking stock, treating this like a real recovery kind of way.
Sober is a serious word. And He said it’s time to get serious about it.
Even after hearing, I’ve balked at any kind of action for almost 2 weeks. Until I shared my story with a friend, and the moment I said “Be Sober,” her eyes filled with tears. Because she knew, in that instant, the message was meant for her, too.
So I’m bringing the very thing I prefer to keep in the dark right into the light.
You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness. So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be awake and sober. (1 Thessalonians 5:5-6)
I’m ready to be ready. I’m starting with Sugar. And committing to be Sugar Sober in October. And to write about it every day — in one way or another. And to trust that the sharing of my story might be any measure of freedom for others who are entangled.
In response to the 31 Day blogging challenge, I will be publishing EVERY DAY in October while I stay sugar-free. You can read previous posts HERE. To be alerted to new posts, please follow me on Facebook or Twitter using the links on the right side of this page. Feel free to Tweet your own experiences with #sugarsoberoctober as well.
PLEASE use the comment section to share your own thoughts, questions, or experiences. Like any road, sugar sobriety is one more easily walked with friends. I do my best to reply to every comment.
Linking with Unforced Rhythms — a wonderful community of writers who gather each Monday to share with you HERE.