Beginning Again. Again. (Sugar Sober Series)

plantatreeThere is a Chinese Proverb that says: “The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”

I wish I could say that I got free from sugar and other addicting food habits 20 years ago. But I didn’t. So all I have is now.

Yes, it’s disheartening to be starting again. Once again.

I’ve known for most of my life that food is my go-to pleasure. My comforter when I’m stressed. My party friend when I’m celebrating. My secret when I’m ashamed. My indulgence when I don’t care any more.

And at various times in my 40 years, I’ve known I want to be on a different path. Diets. Exercise. Fasting. Prayer. Counting points. Eliminating food groups. Reading labels. Cutting food in half. Cleaning out my pantry. Stuffing myself on Sunday to get ready for a fresh start on Monday.

A long drawn-out cycle of binge and purge.

Admittedly, I’m only a little confident this can be my last restart. I don’t have a great history of keeping it up. I have fought the battle so many times only to hand the bloodied ground back over to the enemy and return to my foxhole to lick the wounds. (And the frosting off a cupcake.) Staring at the battleground again is daunting. My scars, they itch and twitch with the knowledge of the frustration and sacrifice sure to be coming.

And yet I go forward. Because I have no other choice. Because I have never been more sure that the mountain of victory is on the other side of this fight. And I refuse to live one more minute of my life in defeat.

Knowing I’m sharing this with you all through #Write31Days is both vulnerable and invigorating. I am not anxious to show off my wounds. But it’s good to have friends in the foxhole.


sugarsoberoctoberIn response to the 31 Day blogging challenge, I will be publishing EVERY DAY in October while I stay sugar-free. You can read previous posts HERE. To be alerted to new posts, please follow me on Facebook or Twitter using the links on the right side of this page. Feel free to Tweet your own experiences with #sugarsoberoctober as well.

PLEASE use the comment section to share your own thoughts, questions, or experiences. Like any road, sugar sobriety is one more easily walked with friends. I do my best to reply to every comment.

11 thoughts on “Beginning Again. Again. (Sugar Sober Series)

  1. YES! It is hurtful to start again isn’t it! You speak my heart Beth! It brings to the surface the shame and guilt of prior failed attempts and also the moment of admitting that because I need to start again really does mean that I quit trying before. With God’s strength we will overcome the hurdle of the starting block and run this race 🙂

    • It’s basic physics. Starting is the hardest part. Once in motion, it’s actually hard to stop us than it is to keep going. I pray that will be true for getting free from food addiction, too.

  2. Hi Beth! Happy to be joining you on this 31 day journey to sugar sobriety (I had never heard it called that but it is sooooo fitting!) Looking forward to following along. I am eating my last pecan banana donut shop muffin! Up until now my own blog has been focused on my passion for baking, so it is timely that I have been thinking of switching my focus to more homemaking/DIY posts instead!

    • Timing can be everything! Happy to have you with me, Maureen!

  3. I will be following along with you. This October you can feel victory! God’s grace is sufficient enough for us in all areas of our lives. Seek and crave HIM in the midst of your craving. I am not perfect. I do indulge. Yet, I don’t feel sugar rules me anymore. I’m excited to follow your journey and hope I can inspire you a little too.

    • Michelle: I’m happy to have found a kindred spirit and look forward to your October posts as well. I’m already inspired by you.

  4. ambercadenas

    You’ve got me, here in this foxhole, among what may be many others. And all I can say this morning as I read this on the train, is I love you. I hear you. I see you. I’m praying with you, believing what you may not yet have the heart to believe. Whether or not this will be the final end is not for me to say. But it is a beginning of breathtaking courage to start again, and I know it will have an end no less glorious.

    • The way God lets us believe for each other the things we can’t yet fully hold for ourselves is one of the most beautiful gifts of friendship. Thank you a million times over.

  5. Beth, great job on being vulnerable and obedient to write your journey! I’ve had the same addiction, and 30 days off of sugar drove me crazy but also made me much stronger than I realized it was going to. I still struggle once in awhile, but God has made it so that my body physically cannot handle processed sugar. It took me so long to listen, I’ve developed additional food allergies (on top of my gluten intolerance I’ve had for 10 years). Obedience pays off, you’ll see. You can do this!! God wins our battles for us, anyway. Right? 🙂

    • I so appreciate your support and encouragement, Elisa. It’s amazing what we’ll put up with to feel our addictions. Thanks for being here, friend.

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